Common everyday issues for people with ADHD
Common everyday issues for people supporting those with ADHD
How a person with ADHD can overcome their difficulties
How neurotypical people can help people with ADHD overcome their difficulties
In this module, you will learn:
Common everyday issues for people with ADHD
Common everyday issues for people supporting those with ADHD
How a person with ADHD can overcome their difficulties
How neurotypical people can help people with ADHD overcome their difficulties
Everyday Issues to Be Overcome by Everybody Involved – 5m57s
11.1 Common Everyday Issues for People with ADHD
When you are supporting an individual who has ADHD, it does mean that there will be a
number of issues that have to be overcome, sometimes on a daily basis.
Being aware of those issues - and being able to take the appropriate action - is something that
everyone has to be able to do, as the aim is to help the individual to lead as normal a life as possible.
We have covered much of this already, but in this module, we bring all the information together as a
summary of the challenges faced by someone with ADHD at every stage of their life. As well as
revising this information, we offer some tips on how to support the person with ADHD in these
challenges.
As you would expect, daily life is not always easy for people with ADHD. Furthermore, it is worth
remembering that the challenges or issues will change, depending on where they are in life. By this,
we clearly mean whether the person is a child, an adolescent, or an adult. It makes sense to
understand the individual and their level of independence, to provide you with a better
understanding of their particular challenges.
11.2 Common Issues Experienced by a Child With ADHD
Children with ADHD have very different problems to those experienced by teenagers or
adults.
Partly this is down to their lower level of independence, or their general lack of responsibilities, but
there are also known to be differences in how the condition manifests in children – for example,
hyperactivity is usually more of an issue for children than for adults.
Childhood is certainly a tough time for anybody with ADHD and it is generally accepted that, at the
earliest ages, it is the hyperactivity-impulsivity aspect that will prove to be the most noticeable and
potentially the most troubling. However, when they start school and gain some independence, if they
have inattentiveness symptoms they too will lead to a number of difficulties.
For example:
With inattentiveness, it is accepted that the child will have issues with being disorganised and
forgetting things on a regular basis. Furthermore, at school, children with ADHD are prone to
making mistakes and, at times, even struggling to complete their work.
For the hyperactive and impulsive side of things, at this stage in their lives, they will face other daily
challenges and issues. Arising from this, the main issue that they will have to face is the problem of
showing restraint.
Other daily issues for a child with ADHD are connected to learning the building blocks of
how to act in everyday situations in life:
They have difficulty learning and dealing with day-to-day rules
They have difficulty learning what it means to have patience
They have difficulty learning how to deal with authority
They have difficulty learning how to control their emotions
They have difficulty understanding why they should not interrupt
They have difficulty learning how to play quietly
Life is certainly very difficult for children with ADHD, as their symptoms cause them to struggle to
make sense of so much in their life. They are further impeded by the emotional dysregulation so
commonly experienced by children with ADHD. At this early stage, there is no doubt that there is a
need to get appropriate treatment for the condition, to help them to manage their symptoms.
11.3 Common Issues Experienced by Adolescents with ADHD
When we move into those teenage years, things do change.
Not only do you have those hormonal issues to contend with, but, at the same time, there are also
brand-new pressures placed upon your shoulders that were not evident as younger children.
Adolescents face more challenging schoolwork, peer pressure and greater independence, all of
which lead to new challenges. Even putting their ADHD to one side for a moment, it is clear that
there is a need to develop a new way of handling things that is more suitable to where they are in
their life.
You can refer back to Module 9 for a detailed picture of ADHD in adolescence, but to
summarise some of the key issues:
Hormonal issues
Things as a teenager are tough enough, thanks to hormones, but when you then throw in this
condition as well and the way in which it causes chaos in the brain, you can really understand why it
is normal for the symptoms of ADHD to get worse during the teenage years. It is often necessary for
teenagers to have their ADHD medication reviewed and altered as their symptoms get worse.
Furthermore, it is important for you to check that individuals with the condition are actually getting
the correct range of treatments. They may now get some benefits from using therapy services which
are rarely offered to younger children, such as coaching. These options may give them a better
chance of coping with their condition.
School issues
At this age, school is even more important, because we are talking about them working towards
grades that can really define so much about how their immediate future – and their long-term future
- is going to develop.
The problem is that those who really suffer from the inattentive aspect will clearly find it difficult to
concentrate and their mind will wander, because of their lack of focus. This makes learning
extremely difficult - although it should be made clear that it is not impossible.
Many teachers will be able to spot the signs of ADHD, but many will not. Comprehensive education
of teachers is extremely important for all children, whether they have ADHD or have a peer with the
condition.
Social issues
It is known that social difficulties are common when you are a teenager, as you are discovering who
you are and what you are looking for in friends. Now, multiply that by several times and you are
getting close to how tough it is on a daily basis for an adolescent with ADHD.
ADHD teens can find it difficult to form or retain friendships; they are also prone to peer pressure;
their impulsive side means they are more likely to endanger themselves or get into trouble; and they
are more likely than their neurotypical peers to take risks when experimenting with sex, drugs and
alcohol.
The problem here is that these are areas of their life that they are likely to find problematic on a
daily basis. They need to interact with people and make decisions as to how they want to live.
Adolescents with ADHD need to be able to focus at school so that they can get the grades they need
in order to have a better and brighter future - and yet they will find it difficult to focus and
concentrate. As you can see, it is tough being a teenager, but even harder still, is being a teenager
with ADHD.
11.4 Common Issues Experienced by Adults with ADHD
When an adult has ADHD there will be a number of other issues that have to be addressed.
Again, this is largely down to their changed level of responsibility and independence. The person
may have a high-pressure job, or be studying for a degree. Alternatively, they may be experiencing
the full juggling act of work and a young family. Whatever their situation, they are likely living away
from their parents and fully responsible for themselves in adulthood. The pressures experienced on a
daily basis can be so great that this can be the most difficult stage of life in which to deal with
ADHD.
Some common issues:
Forgetting Dates and Appointments: Adults with ADHD will sometimes forget to pick up
their children after school, keep doctor's appointments or pick up the dry cleaning. It’s helpful
to keep written or digital reminders for important events.
Misplacing Things: Adults with ADHD may find themselves losing keys, cell phones and
glasses. A good way around this is to designate a single spot and keep your things there, or to
attach electronic tags to important items.
Distracted by Background Noise: People with ADHD are highly distracted by background
noise. Try choosing places that are quiet and away from the TV or noisy groups.
Higher Rates of Traffic Violations and Accidents: If you have ADHD, driving is more
challenging and you’re at greater risk of a serious accident. It is thought that using ADHD
medication can mitigate this risk.
For those diagnosed later in life, the discovery that the reason behind specific emotions or behaviour
is attributed to ADHD could be met with relief, as it will answer numerous questions for people with
the condition. However, they will still have to contend with the same issues as those individuals who
have been diagnosed for some years and, in some instances, they will find life to be even more
difficult.
An adult will often discover that there are problems related to work - and it is no surprise that it is
common for adults with ADHD to have erratic employment and move between jobs. They will be
dealing with problems linked to the condition, such as being late for work, forgetting things, not
being able to pay attention, and making mistakes - and this list does not even include the symptoms
that are linked to the lack of impulse control.
Adult symptoms can also affect other important aspects of life such as relationships, social
interactions, the payment of bills, attending appointments, and other things that form part of day-to-
day life. This condition can potentially cause chaos for any adult that suffers from it.
We can look at a usual day and see how it can be affected:
First, adults with ADHD may find it difficult to remember what they need to take to work. They are
delayed when they are unable to find their car keys and wallet. They get to work and the onslaught
on their senses creates difficulties in focusing. They make mistakes and begin to get irritated by it
all, or they may try to get things back on track and start taking risks that may or may not pay off.
After work, they get home late to discover they have missed an important meeting at their child’s
school and forgot to pick up the shopping on their way home.
Clearly, it’s really important for the correct treatment to be sought to stop these issues from
occurring. Without therapy and medication, it is all too easy for people with ADHD to allow their
condition to get the better of them - making daily life very difficult indeed.
FACT
For many people with ADHD, it is hard to resist impulsive spending - impulsivity is one of the
major symptoms of ADHD, so it is not uncommon for those with ADHD to buy first and think later.
Source: verywellmind.com
11.5 Common Everyday Issues for People Supporting Those
With ADHD
In this section, we are looking at issues for people who do not have ADHD, but who live
with or support an individual who does have the condition.
Clearly, their issues will be different to the person with ADHD, but there are significant challenges
for them to overcome. This is true regardless of the relationship between the two people.
In this situation, there is no doubt that neurotypical individuals will find it tougher if they do not
fully understand the experiences and behaviour of the person with ADHD.
For example:
In a couple, where one partner has ADHD and the other does not, it can be easy for the non-ADHD
person to react poorly to their partner’s symptoms, simply because they don’t fully understand them.
Say their partner has impulsivity symptoms, and sometimes blurts out unwelcome comments. If the
non-ADHD person gets defensive and argues back, it will escalate. Furthermore, this exchange will
leave their ADHD partner feeling misunderstood and undervalued.
It’s not all about the person with ADHD. Parents, partners, friends or colleagues supporting a person
with ADHD should also recognise that the condition will have an impact on their day-to-day life and
wellbeing. This should not be underestimated; ADHD can a rollercoaster for everyone involved.
Some of the issues encountered by those supporting people with ADHD are as follows:
Partners of adults with ADHD can feel undervalued or ignored, due to their partner’s
forgetfulness and trouble paying attention
Partners of adults with ADHD may feel like they shoulder most of the household
responsibilities because their partner struggles to complete tasks
Employers and colleagues may feel resentful of their ADHD colleague, if they are often late,
and seem disorganised and distracted
Parents of children with ADHD can often feel overwhelmed because the condition is so
challenging
Parents may also get frustrated and lose patience with their children if they are having a tough
day; this in turn leads to feelings of guilt
Siblings of children with ADHD sometimes feel embarrassed by their sibling’s tantrums or
impulsive behaviour
The examples above are just a few of the issues that neurotypical people who support an individual
with ADHD may experience.
It must be stressed that none of these difficulties is the fault of the person with ADHD – it’s simply a
fact that those around them are also impacted by the condition.
Later in this module, we will look at some ways to mitigate the impact of ADHD for those involved in
that individual’s life; but now we focus on how people with ADHD can be helped past some of their
difficulties.
11.6 How a Person with ADHD Can Overcome Their
Difficulties
We can now move on to something that is extremely important, which is how a person with
ADHD can actively seek to overcome the issues that they experience on a daily basis.
This is not going to be easy, and people with ADHD will have to learn new coping strategies and
behaviours to help them through the day.
Clearly, some things will be rather specific when it comes to the individual with ADHD and tackling
various problems - and there are too many possible solutions and resolutions to be listed here.
However, it still makes sense for us to look at some strategies that can be implemented, or taught to
individuals, to allow them to overcome common difficulties.
Accept help
Help can take many forms, but essentially, we mean ensuring that an appropriate treatment plan has
been set up, ideally including both medication and therapy. In addition, allow teachers, employers,
colleagues, friends, and loved ones to help where they can.
Work out what works for you
ADHD is such a complex condition that everyone’s experience of it is different. Likewise, strategies
to overcome difficulties are going to vary in success from person to person. For example, some
people with ADHD like to have background noise to help them focus on a task; others find
background noise distracting and instead need silence. Take the time to try different approaches to
find out what really helps.
Make adjustments where necessary
Life with ADHD needs a different approach, and adjustments will have to be made. For example, a
teenager might find studying for multiple short bursts rather than one long session is more effective.
Similarly, an adult might find more focus if large tasks are broken down into smaller, more
manageable chunks. These examples specifically address issues with focus and concentration; there
are many other adjustments that could be made to mitigate other ADHD symptoms.
Use visual cues and other reminders where possible
Many people with ADHD find that using visual cues and reminders help them to stay on task. For
children, this could mean behaviour charts; for adults, this could be post-it notes, phone reminders
or an organisation app.
Know yourself and respect your limits
It’s important for an adult with ADHD not to over-extend themselves, or over-commit to things which
they can’t realistically honour. The same is true for parents of children with ADHD – they should be
mindful of keeping their expectations of what their children can manage at a reasonable level.
Unworkable expectations put unnecessary pressure on, and are likely to cause a loss of self-esteem
when things go wrong. It is far better to set achievable goals.
These tips can be helpful for most people with ADHD. However, the way in which you overcome
difficulties will vary, depending on your stage of life.
For example:
An adolescent may be able to seek different help with education or choose those specialist subjects
that allow them to focus on areas of education to which they are better suited.
An adult may spend some time identifying their areas of difficulty, particularly those which have the
greatest impact on their daily life. They can also learn to recognise some areas of strength and find
ways to develop them.
The key here - and this is maintained by all ADHD therapists - is to never give up and feel defeated
by the condition. At that point, when you allow the condition to control you and see it as an integral
part of you, it can overwhelm you, which makes it more difficult to work through related symptoms.
Instead, a person with ADHD can overcome these everyday challenges by getting to the root of the
issues. If the individual can accept that there is a difficulty, solutions can be found. Implement
positive strategies, especially for those difficult issues and hopefully, the person can see that
progress has been made.
In addition, consider the following strategies:
Use lists to help with organisational issues
Split large tasks up into chunks
Find ways to de-stress
Use regular exercise as a way to let off steam
Be honest with people about the condition
Seek professional help from different experts
If you have issues making payments, use direct debits or standing orders
Be kind to yourself
There are, of course, a number of other ways to make life easier, but these are just examples of how
you can begin to apply specific strategies that can help provide solutions to difficult areas of
everyday life. Find the ways that work in your situation.
11.7 How Neurotypical People Can Help People with ADHD
Overcome Their Difficulties
If we turn our attention back to the person who does not have ADHD but still has to face
difficult issues, we will clearly see a different approach from those who have the condition.
The main concept here is that by effectively helping the person with ADHD, the impact of their
symptoms is reduced, and life is made easier for everyone involved. There are many ways in which
to achieve this.
Improve your knowledge of ADHD and the symptoms
Having a comprehensive knowledge of what living with ADHD means can make a huge difference to
those supporting a person with ADHD. Having better knowledge will increase empathy and
understanding. It will be useful for coming up with practical ways to help, and furthermore, it may
mean less frustration and resentment due to unrealistic expectations.
Ignorance of what ADHD really means for the person in question will only lead to misunderstanding,
stress and poorly-conceived coping strategies.
Encourage and support them in finding the best treatment
As we have already stated, ADHD medication can be quite trial-and-error in the early stages, and it
can be useful to support an individual with ADHD in sticking with this process. They may also be
grateful for support during the early stages of any therapy they embark on. Get involved if
appropriate and use it as an opportunity to learn more about how they can be helped with their
symptoms.
Provide positive feedback
People with ADHD often suffer from low self-esteem; this can be boosted by regular positive
feedback. Acknowledging their efforts, and celebrating even the smallest of achievements, can make
all the difference.
Work on communication
Communication can be challenging for those with ADHD. Keep lines of communication open and
actively listen when they are sharing their views, as this will help everyone to feel heard and valued.
This can have a really positive impact on family harmony.
Help them work out a routine
Routine is very important to people with ADHD, and really helps them to stay on track. Support them
in creating a routine for daily/weekly/monthly tasks if appropriate and help them stick to it.
Take care of yourself
There’s nothing selfish about sometimes putting yourself first. Taking care of yourself means
removing some of the overwhelm experienced by those supporting loved ones with ADHD. This could
mean anything from doing yoga or meditation to having a night out with friends or taking a solo
holiday. It is important to find ways to take a break from the daily challenges of ADHD.
Supporting an individual who has ADHD is not always easy, but there are real benefits to
approaching the situation with a mixture of compassion, patience and humour.
SUMMARY
In this module, we have focused on the issues that individuals need to address when dealing with
ADHD, either as someone with the condition or as an individual who supports someone who has the
condition.
As you can see, there are a number of possible challenges, all of varying degrees of difficulty.
Likewise, there are many strategies which can be employed to meet these challenges head-on.
In the next module, we are going to spend time focusing on another part that is equally as important
- what the future holds for an individual with an ADHD diagnosis.
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